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Chapter 3

Lost and Found

?Problems?? Simply asks as the flustered tavern master rounds the counter to stand behind the bar. The tavern master tosses him a wary glance and then sighs loudly in admission to his question. He tries to wave it off as no big deal but Simply continues, ?The name is Simply; Simply Strange. I would inquire as to your name as well as tavern master no longer seems appropriate.?
The tavern master blinks and scratches his head in utter confusion. He understands the introduction and the request for his name but never once has he been referred to by the title of tavern master, least not by any patrons he remembers. Still, though he cannot be rude to a guest (even if he isn?t paying) and so he replies, ?Tom. Sultry Tom to my friends and a bugger like no other to those others.?
Simply cannot hide his smile as he tips his glass of A&W to Tom and polishes off the glass with a swig. He does not miss the man?s cringe and so he does not offer him any. He pours himself another glass and says, ?So why so flustered Sultry Tom? And why so hot??
Tom smiles at the jab at his nickname as he dabs at his balding head with a clean rag. He looks this man over who is drinking the cheapest wine in the tavern for free and cannot help but to wonder just where he came from and where he is heading. He finds himself suddenly wondering all about this comical-looking man with the body of a young boy and the face of a man.
?Just some hobo, is all. He thought he could drink for free last time he was here. He?s lucky I did not take his hand as I was entitled to back then. Some people just never learn, eh??
Simply only smiles as he takes a sip from his glass. His sparkling eyes study Tom?s pudgy, middle-aged form from his balding head to his bulging gut and swollen knees. He is obviously a man who is on his feet a lot and Simply is sure that they too are swollen and hurting almost always.
?Maragirl is quite a lady,? Simply suddenly remarks and he would be a liar if he said he did not enjoy the stunned look on Tom?s face.
Tom is not so sure what to say at first. Many of men who are in and out of this joint have tried getting her name and here this goofy-looking newcomer spit it out as if he had known it all along. ?Yes, well, she is a hard worker.?
Then Tom clears his throat and leans in close to whisper, ?And I happen to know she was generous with that wine, too. Mayhap she deserves a bit of a tip, eh??
Sultry Tom has never been a sly person and unless he really is being casual he normally looks anything but and so it is now as he pulls himself up from the counter. He dabs at his forehead with a rag even as Simply replies with a nonchalant ?eh? of his own. With no other responses forthcoming, Tom awkwardly walks away from his guest and back to the winos at the end of the bar.
Meanwhile, Maragirl is fighting the glares and pinches of a rather boisterous group of men by the fireplace. How she got suckered in to serving these brutes is beyond her as the table is not a part of her rounds but she does so with the charm and grace of one of Sultry Tom?s finest wenches.
When a pair of pinching fingers manages to grab a fair size of flesh, Maragirl turns around and whacks the man with her serving tray. So much for charm and grace. The tray is made of solid wood and so it makes a nice thudding sound as it thumps the man?s skull. She squeaks and scoots back when he folds over and flops to the floor.
Suddenly there is a scrawny man behind her who pushes her in to the waiting arms of a short but fat lump of a man. He immediately begins fondling her bottom with a drooling grin that shows all of his brown teeth. Maragirl yelps and begins beating at the man?s chest but she has dropped her wooden tray and is now futilely striking at a mass too great for her to harm.
?C?mon sweet?ums. Ya? owe us at least a blowie fer thwappin? our friend,? he says as he keeps pulling her closer by her bottom. Then the scrawny man squeezes himself against her and starts grinding on her thigh; his boney hands grabbing desperately for tits he probably hasn?t had since he suckled them as a babe.
A few other patrons strategically placed throughout the tavern begin standing up. The fat man wraps his hand around Maragirl?s mouth to muffle her screams as he and his skinny friend drag her to the floor.
Sultry Tom looks over a few shoulders but all he sees is a man lying on the floor and he suppresses a smile. Guess his hands wandered a bit too much. Must?ve been Marge; she?s the wily wench of all his wily wenches.
As has been obviously done many times before, the fat man and his friend work on scooting along the floor to drag Maragirl outside the tavern where they can have a quick bit of fun with her and then leave her for their friends to come have a turn. They never quite make it that far, though.
The tavern door slams open and a howling wind blasts through the tavern. Men and women howl and gasp at the sudden cold but the chilly wind is quickly forgotten when a raging hobo charges through the doorway.
Shady Shane ends up tripping over the scrawny man pinning down Maragirl so that the wench can free herself just enough to reach down and grab a handful of the fat man?s testicles and twist.
Sultry Tom immediately jumps up at the sight of Shady charging through his door but when he goes to hop over the bar he hears another man scream and then from atop of the bar he can see the two men and Maragirl struggling on the floor. Shady forgotten, Tom shoves his way through the crowd to snatch the scrawny man up and haul him out the door.
He slams the door shut and charges after the fat man next though he is already immobilized on the floor.
Meanwhile Shady has made his way to the bar and is sitting right next to Simply Strange. He wastes no time with an introduction. ?It?s not you! I knew you were too short! You stole it! I know you did and so does he!?
Simply looks at the poorly-dressed man with a mixture of innocence and confusion. ?I do not steal! Steal what??
?You stole that hat and from a wizard no less!?
A few people gathered around the bar toss an odd glance Shady?s way but he ignores them as he stares intently and accusingly at the man known as Simply Strange.
?I did no such thing!? he doesn?t hesitate to reply. ?The hat was lost and I found it! It?s mine.?
Shady growls and tries to snatch the hat off of the man?s head but Simply has already spun in his seat and jumped off his stool. By now utter chaos has broken out in the tavern as Sultry Tom?s friends begin to root out the friends of the fat and scrawny fellows who tried to steal Maragirl away.
Simply Strange has disappeared in to the hustle and bustle of the crowd but Shady pays him no more heed. The man with the wizard?s hat left his extremely warm looking cloak behind as well as more than a half-bottle of wine. Then Shady looks up and notices Sultry Tom elbowing his way through the crowd and towards him.
Shady snatches the bottle off of the counter and grabs Simply?s cloak as he wiggles between the barstools and underneath the bar. He pops out on the other side and grabs the first few bottles he sees on the bottom shelf. Wrapping them up in Simply Strange?s cloak, Shady wiggles back under the bar and in to the crowd.
By the time Sultry Tom has made it to the bar Shady is half way to the door and by the time he notices a few bottles missing from his shelf Shady is already drinking them with his friends and bundled in his new cloak.

Chapter 4

Wino Heroes and Tavern Master Thieves

Shady Shane had woke with a start when he passed out outside. The moaning wind and nipping cold would not let him sleep for long and so he had begun pacing back and forth in front of the tavern. He told himself that he was just getting warm before he headed back to his friends but when he burst through the front door like a wild man he somehow knew that this was his plan all along.
When Shady returned to his friends with a bottle for each of them and a brand new, extra warm cloak they first stared at him in disbelief but it quickly turned in to cheers. Each with a bottle in hand they toasted each other for their accomplishments and kept on drinking. Shady even gave up the warm corner to one of his less-clothed friends who gladly huddled in.
So it went on for the rest of the night; four winos listening intently to the story of the wizard by their hero for the night.

?He wore a cloak of gold and had eyes of fire

And as he spoke I felt the deep desire

To free the world of its fear and doubt

And to help the people feel free again.?

Two of the winos stare at their friend in disbelief; the others passed out around the time the sun crested the horizon. It is not Shady?s singing voice that causes them to look at him so, especially since Shady can sing about as well as a goat but rather his words and the glazed look in his eyes as he sang them.
Then Shady?s voice fades away and he begins to slump closer towards the ground, his empty bottle ringing out as it hits the street. The other two nod and huddle closely against their sleeping friend in hopes that they can find dreams as sweet as his.

?He stole my cloak!? Simply Strange exclaims loudly as he paces back and forth across the bar, kicking bottles and glasses as he passes. ?He?s a thief!?
Sultry Tom is practically bald now as he pulls at what little hair he has left on his head and Maragirl, despite her nearly-tragic encounter only moments ago, cannot help but to giggle. Even a few other patrons are chuckling at the ridiculous sight of the skinny Simply stomping around with such a preposterous hat on his head.
Other patrons, Sultry Tom?s friends try to reach up and grab the man but do not do so roughly for fear of hurting the skinny man. Simply Strange just swats their grasping hands away or kicks at them the way one would think a chicken kicks. A few clucks even burst out from the crowd as Simply paces.
This just causes everyone to laugh and pretty soon people begin carrying on with their night as the newcomer struts about on the bar, ranting and raving about his stolen cloak. ?I paid a lot for that cloak!?
?Please, please just get down!? Tom begs, snatching away the last of the bottles before the man can kick them. Simply looks down at him with an annoyed look but he complies with a loud huff.
?Very well, but you?re getting my cloak back!? Sultry Tom looks at him incredulously and so Simply Strange begins climbing back on top of the bar.
?Fine, fine, fine! Just don?t get back up there!? Tom begins gently grabbing the skinny man and pulling him back down. Simply straightens the collar of his plain brown shirt with a satisfied smirk on his face. ?I can have it for you by tomorrow afternoon.?
?Afternoon!??
?Yes, yes! Please just trust me. I know where this man sleeps and I am missing a few bottles since he left so I can guarantee you he will spend the night drinking and the morning passed out. I can get it for you then.?
Though he does not look at all pleased about it, Simply nods and returns to his stool, pulling down on his hat as if it is going to blow away in the wind. Sultry Tom sighs loudly and drags his feet in to the back room where he plops against the wall and slides down to the floor. ?I hate you dad,? he says with a yawn.
Maybe he could just close his eyes for a few minutes; surely his girls out there could run the show for an hour or so. An hour? Didn?t he just plan on a few minutes? Tom can?t think anymore as sleep engulfs him.
Meanwhile Maragirl gingerly steps through a few tables and scattered chairs to bring some hot soup to a couple of new patrons, late workers from the forge no doubt. She is smiling now and laughing genuinely with her guests. This is the sort of crowd she likes. The creeps have been chased out and now it is mostly Tom?s friends (who stick around in case of such incidents and drink at a discount) and those townspeople who are either just now leaving the forge or who got off work a few hours ago and are finishing up their drinking.
The rest of the night goes by pretty calmly and smoothly with even Simply Strange getting a little tipsy and joining in some singing merriment with the crowd so when Maragirl walks in to the back room to find her boss sleeping she only smiles and leaves him to his sweet dreams.

Tom wakes up crusty-eyed and with a loud yawn. He rubs the sand from his eyes and looks around at the barrels and crates surrounding him. He knows where he is but can?t figure out why. After rubbing his eyes some more to clear away the fuzziness, Tom stands up and peeks out the doorway and in to main room.
That?s right! Simply Strange had caused a ruckus and? and Sultry Tom had promised to find him his cloak. He sighs annoyingly and walks through the backroom to where his office is. He puts on a thick, cotton sweater over his bar uniform, apron and all and then bundles up in his father?s cloak. Made from heavy sheepskin and lined with wool, it is a fine cloak but it is old and getting time for a new one.
Walking through the main room, Tom is glad to see that his girls had cleaned up nicely and even did his share. Well, Maragirl probably did his share. The others were reliable but she was by far the nicest. He is smiling warmly at her thought when he reaches the front door.
When he gets outside he begins shivering against the wind despite his layers. The sun is up but it is hidden by a blanket of fog that shrouded the sky last night but settles now on the street. He mumbles incoherently as he makes the first right and tightens the strings of his cloak though they have no more pull.
?The man drinks my wine for free, probably didn?t even leave Maragirl a tip and now here I am in the cold early morning to retrieve his stolen property! How does this happen to me?? He becomes quiet though as he comes upon the alley that he knows Shady and his friends often frequent.
He slowly pokes the top of his head around the corner to note five forms all huddled against the corner between a dumpster and a wall. He lingers on this sight for a moment and even begins to wish he had brought a bottle or two for the poor fools. Here he is complaining about the morning cold while these men and others like them endured it throughout the night.
Tom sucks in his breath to strengthen his resolve and strides in to the alley. It doesn?t matter that these are men of the streets. They stole and cannot be allowed to get away with it. Since when are you the local sheriff Sultry Tom?
Tom stops suddenly and shakes his head. Why is he here to retrieve the stolen property of a man who drink for free at his tavern last night and also how he is any different than the wino at his feet now who tried to do the same just a couple of weeks ago? With his agitation building Sultry Tom shouts loudly.
?You bumbling, wino fool, you! Not only do you come to my tavern and steal from my customers but you?re not even smart enough to move to a different alley!??
Two of the five winos jump at the sound of Tom?s booming voice. Neither one of them is Shady.
?Shaddup yer face, would ya!??
?Ya, we tryin to sleep!?
Sultry Tom ignores them and instead reaches down and grabs Shady by the collar of his new cloak and shakes him roughly. ?Hey you ignorant welch! Wake up!?
The two winos shrug and go back to sleep, one of them even trying to get a few drops he might have missed out of his bottle last night. Tom becomes impatient and finally kicks the sleeping Shady. ?Ouch!?
That is Tom?s ouch. He hops backwards after kicking what feels like a rock. No way Shady?s ass can be that bony. Alas, though Shady awakens from his slumber and stares red-eyed at Sultry Tom. ?I ain?t in yer stupid tavern!?
?You stole from one of my customers! Give that cloak back!? Tom does not wait for a reply as he reaches down and begins trying to yank the cloak off of him. Shady?s friends, loyal to the end start kicking Shady in the rear to get off of them and take his struggle with the tavern master elsewhere.
Shady launches in to Tom but the sultry tavern master is too crafty for such a bum rush. He props his right knee up and rolls backwards with the wino. Shady is suddenly launched right over Tom and crashes in to the opposite wall. Tom is up in a second and on top of Shady, struggling to rip the cloak off of him.
?Thief! Help, thief!? Shady yells as his left arm is yanked out of the sleeve and he feels the bite of the morning cold on his skin. It is obvious that there is no help forthcoming so Shady begins to scream a different tune. ?Rape! Help, rape!?
Sultry Tom?s eyes pop wide open and he hops off of the screaming wino. ?What the hell is the matter with you!??
Shady does not answer though but instead scrambles away and makes a dead run in the opposite direction. Tom groans loudly and begins chasing the surprisingly quick hobo. Shady?s new cloak is quite heavy though and slows him down not to mention that his stomach is full of nothing but a bottle of wine and a quarter bottle of whiskey and his sudden morning wake and sprint has his stomach running laps, too.
Shady just barely makes it out of the alley when he falls to his face and hurls all over the sidewalk. A few people walking by curl their nose in disgust and quickly cross the street to avoid walking near him.
Sultry Tom emerges from the alley and looks down at what he could only describe as among the most pitiful sights he has ever seen. He tries to strengthen is resolve in order to finish retrieving Simply?s cloak but when Shady rolls on to his side and cringes at the site of the tavern master looming over him Tom cannot find the heart to take the man?s only source of warmth.
?Look Shane,? Tom says, purposely using his real name rather than his rat name. ?Let me help you up,? he says as he reaches down to grab him by his elbows. Then it happens.
Shady?s eyes turn blood red and not the red that a drunk?s eyes turn but the sort of red that hints at demonic possession. Tom tries to stumble back but it is too late. Shady has grabbed his wrists and with a strength that he cannot resist Shady pulls him in to his screaming and ever-widening maw.

Sultry Tom wakes with a start, his face covered in sweat but the rest of his body shivering. He sits there for a long time, not daring to even so much as rub the sand from his eyes. When he finally has his breathing under control, Tom manages to rub his eyes and look around. He?s in his storeroom.
That?s good. He remembers coming in here and wanting to simply close his eyes for a few minutes. Simply? Simply Strange. ?I?m not getting that damn cloak.?
With that little matter resolved, Sultry Tom stands up and walks out in the tavern?s main room. Maragirl is wiping down the bar with a fresh rag. Tom smiles. She knew how he wiped the bar down with only fresh rags.
?What time is it,? he asks groggily.
Maragirl squeaks and turns around but smiles when she looks at Tom?s sleepy-eyed face. ?The sun is about to rise,? she says softly. ?You can go on to bed. I?m just finishing up.?
Tom reaches out and snatches the rag from her hand. ?Yeah, finishing up my job,? he says as he starts wiping down the smooth wood with his own solution of fine oil made specifically for wooden furniture. ?Now you get to bed.?
Maragirl smiles and politely nods before heading in to the back room to retrieve her things.
?Whatever happened to that Simply Strange fellow, Maragirl?? he calls out as he rubs at a particularly stained spot that, as far as he knows has been here since his father owned the place. ?Did he at least leave a tip??
Maragirl walks out with a thin fur cloak wrapped around her, a gift from Tom years ago and shakes her head. ?No, no tip. In fact, I didn?t see him for the rest of the night after you passed out. It was like he vanished.?
Now Tom really smiles. It always makes him happy when she uses her proper voice rather than that country girl talk that gets her the tips from horny patrons. He feels it suits her intelligence far more.
?Well then, let him stay gone I say. We do just fine with our locals, eh??
Maragirl smiles sweetly in agreement and heads for the door. The night had been long and her ordeal with the creeps from last night still has her a bit shaken. When she opens the door she steps halfway out before turning around and looking back at Sultry Tom. ?Tommy,? she says in that too innocent voice that makes the tavern master?s knees weak.
?Yeah??
?Thanks for last night,? and then she is gone, shutting the wind off and trapping her sweet smell at the tavern?s doorway.
Tom inevitably wanders that way to sweep where it does not need to be swept and loses himself in sweet dreams.

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